"Physician,
Heal Thyself"
How a pediatrician and artist pieced herself back together after narcissistic abuse.
How a pediatrician and artist pieced herself back together after narcissistic abuse.
Valerie Sussman, MD
Author · Artist · Certified Narcissistic Abuse Specialist
At the age of 50, I finally broke free from my 20-year roller coaster marriage and filed for the divorce I never wanted — but knew I needed.
Devastated from decades of emotional abuse, I set out to do the hard work of healing and rebuilding.
They say, "Physician, heal thyself."
Heal thyself? I was trained to heal broken bodies — not broken hearts. Where to start?
Just What the Doctor Ordered (Sort of)
Carrie Fisher famously said, "Take your broken art and turn it into art." So I traded in my stethoscope and white coat for a paintbrush, a pile of odd objects (dolls' heads, anyone?), and an alarming amount of glue.
I then gathered up my broken parts — and my surprisingly still intact sense of humor — and began putting myself back together. (Thus the need for all that glue.)
The process of creating took me out of my head and into my hands — and woke up my hibernating imagination. Art became a microscope — and a megaphone — for my muddled feelings of sadness, anger, confusion, and shame. Instead of pushing them away, I welcomed them in.
I explored. Excavated. Expressed. I allowed myself to cry. To get angry. To feel all of it.
Making art gave shape to the feelings I had been suppressing, and voice to the thoughts I had spent so long silencing.
I rediscovered hope. I rediscovered joy. I rediscovered play.
Turns out, healing thyself looked a lot like glue, doll heads, willingness to feel — and remembering how to laugh.
Today, I'm a certified narcissistic abuse specialist, assemblage artist, and author.
Today, I am a certified narcissistic abuse specialist, assemblage artist, and author of Love, Lies, and Narcissists in Disguise: The A-Z Guide for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse.
Through colorful art, hard-won wisdom, and offbeat humor, I help survivors find their way out of the maze — and back to themselves.
Healing doesn't have to be beige — or boring. Sometimes the best therapy involves glue, vintage toys, and belly laughs.
And if that doesn't work... More cowbell.
Art · Wisdom · Humor